can i tell the truth...

sometimes things are hard... life is hard... sometimes in our world today we try to pretend that everything is perfect... but sometimes things or circumstances hurt us... ***

partone:

this is our private blog now... and thus you can see that i have been more free with what i write... today is one of those free days... i have nothing to complain about in life... i have a most wonderful husband, who although is not with us at the moment, is perfect for me in every way! i have a beautiful boy, who is also perfect for me and our family in every way! i am most definitely not asking for sympathies... just wearing my heart on my sleeve today...

...sometimes there feels like something/someone is missing... we have been struggling for sometime to have the opportunity to welcome another baby into our family... there are many out there that have also gone through or are going through this same thing... and have had it much worse than us... i am not complaining in any sense... goodness life is crazy sometimes... i feel for you... but even more... those that have not had the opportunity to have a child already... i cannot and will not complain for one moment... because i have my sweet little jones... i know that circumstances arent the best for us right now either... that we have the best form of birth control ever made... abstinence... that brent will be gone another five plus more months and that obviously lengthens the gap between any future children and jones...

it is funny that as i am writing this, i know that i have already received answers to my many prayers... i know that i have been answered... it is just hard at times... the answer i keep receiving is to be patient... i fully admit that i am not that patient most times... we live in such a generation that is accustomed to getting everything NOW... but i really do know that patience is something that i am learning to acquire at this point in my life...

i truly believe that we are prepared in ways that we do not comprehend... to accomplish tasks that will come in our futures... for example... years before brent and i thought about the idea of him joining military... this one day i had the funny thought that i would not mind that life someday... this is when we first got married and we both were completely engrossed in our careers... so to have that thought was something fleeting and i didnt think too much of it... i honestly cant even remember exactly what sparked that thought... but then later... now... i can say that maybe because of that small thought to begin with... i was much better prepared to think of it as a reality later in life... now...

i think of it the same way when i think of where we might be headed now... not literally headed somewhere... but some promptings and feelings that we have had of recent... and many times while i was younger... i cant obviously tell you how it feels to adopt a child... we have never done it... but it is amazing the feelings and emotion that i experience when i think of the possibility that there is a child out there that is supposed to be part of our family... as i write this now... i can barely stand the strong emotion that is over me... it is so comforting to know...

how do i write what i am feeling right now...

...it is so comforting to know and feel of the Saviors love... to know that there is a plan for us... that this life is meant to bring happiness and joy... that we must sometimes pass through sorrow and pain to fully understand the beauties that lie before us in a time that is sorrowful...

it is sometimes hard for me to comprehend why i have not been able to become pregnant once again... so many around me are... and i know that i can be... i have been twice already... so logically i must be able... my body is able... but there is something more... sometimes the Lord is not logical... it do not mean that with any disrespect... i mean that in a way that... our heads cannot wrap around the logic of such an Almighty being... that if i were to become pregnant again right now... would i really look to find that baby that is meant to be mine... ours???

hope you didnt mind reading the truth... sometimes it helps to get it out...

i tell brent... instead of therapy i have a blog and i run... two things that make me a sane person... i think...

***(i recently watched the movie everybodys fine... it got me thinking...)

we are back...

we were gone for about two weeks... and i am so overwhelmed with how many pictures i took... we did so many fun things with fun people!!! i will start posting them all soon.. but thought i would start off by keeping up with the pictures i just took!

there is nothing like going to the grocery store and actually enjoying looking around... usually i try to hurry through because jones is picking up everything and asking me about it, or saying, "i need it!" ... i cant help but laugh as i am typing that... hope you are too! literally i am laughing out loud right now and cant think of what i wanted to say next...

oh yeah... most of the time we walk out of a store with a balloon, or stickers or a sucker because the nice workers try to advert his attention so i can get what i need and be done... i swear they all remember me... like today when we went to albertsons to take advantage of the friday sale they have on oj and cranberry juice... one of the women opened up a new aisle just for me... i promise jones isnt bad... he is just loud and 2... and i am most definitely not complaining... i think it is funny! i wonder when we have another someday if it will be better or worse... (no that wasnt an announcement... i wish it was)

... so i love... absolutely love that henrys, my favorite place to grocery shop here, has this fun cart with a car on the front... there are a few other places that have them too! hooray for henrys, ralphs and home depot! they know what a parent needs to get some shopping done... and when a parent can shop... they will buy more...

see...

because jones was being so good, i told him that we could buy some cookies! so we bought some of these yummy late july cookies and then when i saw quinoa macaroons i couldnt resist... macaroons are one of my moms favorite and i just had to get them to try... i will let you know how i like them soon!

funniest part... i didnt realize until we were at the checkout that he literally could not get out because he had buckled himself in... he loves driving that car... and honks and everyone he sees...

ps... note to self... buy the chocolate covered gummy bears next time... the samples were delish!

m&m connoisseur

we sent these above m&ms to brent not too long ago...

.....

and today we found these below m&ms to send to him soon...

shhhh... dont tell him... or brent pretend that you didnt read this post... if you do...

top[march 19th 2010]: coconut m&ms: very good! i was a little disappointed that it was coconut flavoring instead of actual coconut in the middle of the m&m, but overall very likable.

bottom[april 23rd 2010]: pretzel m&m: yumm! i love salty and sweet mixed... and i didnt even know they were coming out with ANOTHER new m&m... what a sweet (and salty) surprise...

who misses the crispy m&m... i do... these kind of replace them! but better!

happy m&m shopping!

...

happy one year three year to brent...

april 20th 2010

1:3

(translation: brent has been in the USMC one year on april 20th 2010, and has three more years to complete his enlistment)

happy birthday earthday

happy earth day

i loved this image when i did a google search this morning...

thanks to the city of sacramento california

what will you do for earth day today?

not to disappoint...

....

muse

is

amazing!

i did not expect less than what they delivered... i loved them and they most definitely did not disappoint!

ashley and i had so much fun!

we have been counting down the days for what seems like forever!

i wish i could go again tonight...

they are my most favorite group to see by far... so much fun to watch! not to mention matts tiffany blue pants... (i just learned that that was actually a color, thanks to karen)... loved them!

loved the visual imagery... they are so talented!

i wished i could have been stephanie meyer for a moment... so they could dedicate a song to me... because they did dedicate one to her...

loved...

loved...

loved...

i want to eat these right now...

yum!!!

this would be a good general conference watching treat... dont you think???

Homemade Samoa

(a.k.a. Caramel de-Lites)

Cookies 1 cup butter, soft 1/2 cup sugar 2 cups all purpose flour 1/4 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp vanilla extract up to 2 tbsp milk

Preheat oven to 350F. In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Mix in flour, baking powder and salt at a low speed, followed by the vanilla and milk, adding in the milk as needed to make the dough come together without being sticky (it’s possible you might not need to add milk at all). The dough should come together into a soft, not-too-sticky ball. Add in a bit of extra flour if your dough is very sticky. Roll the dough (working in two or three batches) out between pieces of wax paper to about 1/4-inch thickness (or slightly less) and use a 1 1/2-inch cookie cutter to make rounds. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet and use a knife, or the end of a wide straw, to cut a smaller center hole. Repeat with remaining dough. Alternatively, use scant tablespoons of dough and press into an even layer in a mini donut pan to form the rounds. Bake cookies for 10-12 minutes, until bottoms are lightly browned and cookies are set. If using a mini donut pan, bake for only about 10 minutes, until edges are light gold. Cool for a few minutes on the baking sheet then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Topping 3 cups shredded coconut (sweetened or unsweetened) 12-oz good-quality chewy caramels 1/4 tsp salt 3 tbsp milk 8 oz. dark or semisweet chocolate (chocolate chips are ok)

Preheat oven to 300. Spread coconut evenly on a parchment-lined baking sheet (preferably one with sides) and toast 20 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes, until coconut is golden. Cool on baking sheet, stirring occasionally. Set aside.

Unwrap the caramels and place in a large microwave-safe bowl with milk and salt. Cook on high for 3-4 minutes, stopping to stir a few times to help the caramel melt. When smooth, fold in toasted coconut with a spatula. Using the spatula or a small offset spatula, spread topping on cooled cookies, using about 2-3 tsp per cookie. Reheat caramel for a few seconds in the microwave if it gets too firm to work with.

While topping sets up, melt chocolate in a small bowl. Heat on high in the microwave in 45 second intervals, stirring thoroughly to prevent scorching. Dip the base of each cookie into the chocolate and place on a clean piece of parchment paper. Transfer all remaining chocolate (or melt a bit of additional chocolate, if necessary) into a piping bag or a ziplock bag with the corner snipped off and drizzle finished cookies with chocolate. Let chocolate set completely before storing in an airtight container.

thank you bakingbites.com

love this...

"How thankful we ought to be ... how thankful we are, for a prophet to counsel us in words of divine wisdom as we walk our paths in these complex and difficult times. The solid assurance we carry in our hearts, the conviction that God will make his will known to his children through his recognized servant is the real basis of our faith and activity. We either have a prophet or we have nothing: and having a prophet, we have everything...."

Gordon B. Hinckley

happy conference watching...

always loved this picture...

today marks one month that brent has been gone... it seems like it has been so long... yet gone by fast... only six more months to go...